Hi. I'm new here. I have 10 children, have breastfed them all and am currently breastfeeding my youngest who is 2 years 3 months. The shortest length of time I've breastfed was 10 1/2 months with my first, the rest have been 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 years.

My youngest came 5 weeks early and had breathing difficulties until they administered the surfactant at 2 days old. The NICU was a wonderful place when he needed this help, but it was the worst place ever when it was time to transition from their care back to mine.

I was only allowed to hold him for 30 minutes every 3 hours. I had a c section and was extremely swollen all over, I felt like I couldn't breathe when I laid down. My milk didn't come in well this time, maybe it was all of the swelling, maybe it was the stress. It's very difficult for me to be separated from my babies, I never left the hospital until he was released. I had to leave him to eat or shower or anything, I would run to take care of myself and run back to him. I was so exhausted.

They would only allow 20 minutes of nursing time every 3 hours, that was within the 30 minutes I could hold him. The threatened to suction his stomach to measure what he was getting. They insisted on offering him the bottle after he nursed.

This little guy has never felt like he was nursing or latching on right. He nurses like a lazy baby lounging with a pacifier. Never like a hungry baby.

I've never been able to pump. I've had the best success with a one handed manual pump on one side while the baby nurses on the other. It's alway been an issue for me. If I would have been able to pump more than a few ccs I would have been able to give him that after he nursed while in the NICU.

When I pumped while at the NICU, the pump would make my nipples very swollen and I ended up with scabs. It didn't hurt though.

We are trying for another baby and it seems that it will be likely our baby would be a little early again. I need help dealing with this again. It was a new experience and I was very intimidated.

My questions...
Why didn't my milk come in normally this time? What can I do?
Why can't I pump? Could it be that I'm missing something?
Does a baby using a pacifier burn less calories than one using the breast as a pacifier as they say at the NICU?
How do I assert that I want to hold my baby more than their rules without causing a stink?

I really want to do better if we get to have another baby.

When we left the NICU, my husband stayed home and I pretty much did nothing but hold him next to my skin and try to get him to nurse for about 2 weeks. He continued to lose weight even after we got home and it was very scary. I purchased a baby scale, weighed diapers, and I was concious about him not burning calories. Mainly I didn't bathe him every day line the other kids because it made him upset and tense.

I purchased an electric double breast pump, Madela, I don't know what kind it is. I wanted to work on pumping skills before now. We had several bouts of mastitis and yeast on my nipples as he got older and I didn't want to contaminate the pump. Now I'm afraid it will change my hormones since I am having cycles again and trying to conceive.

Any help, input, and advice is appreciated.

Thanks so much.