Dear Surrogate Mother,

There is a bigger issue here. The hospital is not taking into consideration the fact that once you deliver this baby, the IP's are going to need to be able to parent. How can they do this if they don't have a room? At the very least the IM needs to be with the baby. I agree that the intended father should not spend the night in the same room as you. That's going too far in my opinion.

My suggestion is to get in touch with the hospital social worker and explain the situation. When my younger son was born we were able to get a two bedroom suite at a hospital in Houston. Our SM stayed in the larger room which had the hospital bed and I stayed with the baby in the smaller room which had a pull out sofa bed. The arangement worked for all concerned. We stayed for 2 nights.

Remember, we're not talking about a long time. Generally speaking you and the baby are allowed to leave within 48 hours if this is a routine vaginal birth.

The social worker should be able to work something out. Give it a try.

Warmest regards,

Hi:
I know how you feel. You need your space but it wasn't considered when they responded so emphatically. Of course they need time with their babies and of course they are afraid that they will be shut out by the hospital. But of course you need your privacy so something needs to be worked out. I've heard of I.M.'s breastfeeding in other private rooms provided by the hospital.

Don't worry, it will work out once you explain to the hospital their needs.

Hang in there. I'm sorry it has to be such a "testy" time of communications. You don't deserve that. Emotions are riding high for all involved and my hopes are for you to have a loving, gentle, peaceful, and happy delivery time with your I.P.s.

Good luck. You are ONE VERY SPECIAL ANGEL to be giving them the GIFT OF LIFE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU from all of us I.P.s Without someone like you, we could never realize our dream of completing our families. God bless you! {{{{BIG HUG}}}

Hello!

Lenore's idea is great and I second it. In my situation, the hospital basically told us what they told you. However, our GS wanted me to stay in the room because she wanted to watch me with the baby. Hubby stayed in the motel. The hospital did not make us any promises until the last minute, they reluctantly let me stay in the room ... but only in the chair ... they said there would be too much liablility if I stayed in the bed. Anyway, I've never been so tired as that night in the chair, and our GS didn't get much rest either. The good thing was that the baby had no bottles because of that, so I could breast feed. Our GS pumped while in hospital and the few drops of collostrum she got, we both finger fed the baby ... every last drop. If you are not this chummy with your IM, it's okay ... consider Nona's idea. However, if this IM wants to breastfeed, it would mean all the difference in the world for her to be with the baby the first night.

My other suggestion is to get out of the hospital as fast as medically feasible!

Blessings to you for being a surrogate. You really are an angel.

Aloha,
Christina