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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 30 Georgia
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 30 Georgia |
Lily is doing ok. She is still very small for her gestation and is needing respiratory support. She is not yet feeding but they are going to try tomorrow. I am having trouble with my supply. I get between 1 mil and 4 mil at each pumping. when I have been upset I get nothing but drops on the end of my nipple. My emotions seem very much tied into my supply. Today they let me hold her Kangaroo style, skin to skin, and I got nearly 5 mil afterward. So now that I know of this little trick I will use it more often.
The adoption is very stressful and is the source of the upsets that cause my milk to lock down. The birthmom is great and we still talk about every other day. however we are not so impressed with the social worker and we are having a hard time locating the birth father. These things are stressing the birthmother out and therefore are stressing me out. It looks like it will be early August and perhaps as late as September before Lily will be ours in legal terms. Even though her birthmother has given me plenty of permission to mother Lily, I won't feel like her mother until the court says I am.
Well I just thought I would update you and let you know how I was getting on with the protocol. I get really frustrated at my lack of milk, especially when I put my bottles in the freezer next to full ones that others have pumped but I am at least making milk and have enough for little Lily to get started on.
Vanessa
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 212 California
experienced member
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experienced member
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 212 California |
We'll keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Hang in there and keep up the pumping. If you can, try to read the book "Attachment Parenting" by William and Martha Sears.
Aloha,
Christina
Christina ~ Wife of Henry, Jr. and mother of Henry III, born with the help of our Angel/GS
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 157
experienced member
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experienced member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 157 |
Hi Vanessa:
I know exactly how you feel. I swear I felt like a babysitter of my daughter for the first two months. Especially since our birthmother and birthfather got back together right after the birth. It took a while to settle down and believe that the placement was real. So I know what you are going through. My only advice is to just take deep breaths and be sure to get some distraction time for yourself. There's really no way you can turn off the questions from the situation. You are too much of a loving mother and need to protect yourself at the same time as mothering Lily.
I bonded two months later with Kailynn and I've never felt so much better in my life. It was okay that I gave myself permission to hold back emotionally at first. It's a natural defense mechanism. I'm praying for you here.
As far as your milk goes, I'm noticing the same thing. I went through this stress of our surrogate leaving the state and having strong contractions. Thankfully they stopped and the military made her come back home. So now I'm trying to relax, Lenore's orders, so my drops can increase. I feel like it will happen so there's light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep persisting, my dear. We are right here with you and care very much for a beautiful outcome for you.
Love,
LD
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