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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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My wife has had 4 m/c over the past 4 years during the first trimester, most recently in December 05. We started seeing a specialist about that time and she has subsequently found several potential explanations -- thyroid and anti-phospholypid(sp?) -- which are being treated.
Our doctor is hopeful but despite our exchanges of positive thoughts and ideas, I am filled with a sense of dread that this just isn`t going to work out.
I see the emotional toll it is taking on my wife, who is 34, and I feel she (we) need to start to come to terms with the possibility that we may not have children naturally.
Part of me wants to build up her hope that the various treatments will work as I would think that positive energy can only help.
Part of me wants to start exploring other options to minimise the possibility that my wife is ripped apart by more disappointments.
I wonder if anyone has some information on the likelihood that we will have success given the diagnosed potential explanations. I also wonder if anyone has advice on how to stay positive while ensuring that we have a fall back if this doesn`t work.
Thanks in advance.
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I'm really sorry to hear of your losses. I'm going through this too, although my situation is a bit different. I have a healthy 2 year old and have had 2 miscarriages, trying to stay hopeful for the next pregnancy. One thing that has helped me is to learn as much as I can. I've done so much research on this I'm finally starting to understand which problems may apply to me and which do not. This website was helpful to me because I felt it was more scientific than much of the info I came across. http://www.obgyn.net/displayarticle.asp?page=/pb/articles/recurrentpgloss2_daiter_0499Perhaps it'll help you too. As for the emotional toll it's taking, I'm having trouble with that too. Luckily, I have a supportive husband like you which I believe is HUGE. If you found some problems that they say can be treated, I'd go with that. And in the meantime, it may be helpful to look into other options (adoption, etc.) because it may make you both feel more hopeful/less helpless. Best of luck to you. I think it's great that you're trying so hard to help your wife through this.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,347 Canada
extra helpful experienced member
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extra helpful experienced member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,347 Canada |
Dear Husband, Please let me say how sorry I am for your losses. As a mother who lost 8 pregnancies to recurrent miscarriage before my sons were born, I understand how devastated you and your wife must feel. What you have here is actually good news. You have what amounts to an answer for your losses and this is a treatable answer. Most mothers with anti-phospholipid syndrome (APS) can carry to term with the help of baby aspirin and low molecular weight heparn. You may want to ask your doctor about Fragmin....not as hard on the body as regular heparin. There is a fabulous article on our website by Dr. Roger Bick. Have a look: http://www.asklenore.info/miscarriage/print/bickp.htmlHe reports 100% success in treating APS with Heparin and baby aspirin. Warmest regards,
Lenore Goldfarb, Ph.D.,CCC,IBCLC
Wife to Rob, Mom to Adam aged 13, and Ethan aged 9, both born via GS and breastfed via Regular Newman-Goldfarb Protocol.
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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First, let me start by saying how sorry I am for your losses. I had two miscarriages before my son was born four months ago, and I was terrified throughout my pregnancy, even after I passed the times when I had lost my first two babies. I don't think the fear ever goes away. However, I want to echo Lenore and say that you should absolutely remain positive b/c the possible causes are being treated. I myself was diagnosed with homozygous MTHFR, and took a baby aspirin and folic acid supplement. I'll never know whether that alone made the difference, but I do have a healthy baby now, and I don't think I would without the treatment I received. Also, I recommend psychotherapy to help you and your wife through the grieving process. My husband actually handled our losses okay, in his own way, but I was a total wreck. I actually sought out therapy b/c I was afraid my marriage would fall apart - there was nothing more my husband could do for me, but I needed more help. I found my therapist through my OB, and she helped me through the grieving process. I have a much greater sense of peace about my losses than I ever thought possible, and only part of that is b/c I have a baby now. Finally, I hope you won't give up on being a father. I think it can help, mentally and emotionally, to look into alternatives like adoption, but also know that I know some women who were told they couldn't get pregnant and who now have babies. I also know some women who had five or more miscarriages, never found a cause for them, and now have babies. I hope you get your baby soon, and also that you'll allow yourselves to grieve and heal. Best wishes - Cathy _____________________________ Check out my blog! 
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