I'm so scared. We just got a call from the prospective birth grandma of the baby we hope to adopt. The baby isn't due til Sept 1st but was born by C-section today!!!! I wasn't supposed to start pumping until the middle of July. I have no milk. We don't even know if we should go up there yet. We thought we had another 8 or 9 weeks!!
Argh!! This is crazy!!! We should be happy but we're both freaked out and scared. Our poor little Lily Beth should still be tucked away in her birthmom's tummy., not struggling for every breath! Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

I'll let you know when we have more news.

Vanessa

Dear Vanessa,

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Let's think positive.

I'm not sure what your arrangement is but if you're working with an agency, you'll need to contact them right away to find out what to do. If it looks like you're going to be parenting this baby, then you'll need to contact your insurance right away to add this baby as a dependent. Then stop your birth control pill if you're on it, maintain the domperidone and start pumping ASAP. A baby born this early will probably need to be tube fed in the very beginning.

My son was 2 months early and did not take the breast for 9 days. It will help you tremendously if you could contact a board certified lactation consultant who is familiar with preemies and who is near the hospital to come and help you latch this baby.

Don't worry about your milk supply. A baby this tiny does not take in a whole lot. But the sooner you begin pumping, the sooner your milk supply will build and build.

If you haven't already done so, please order your lact-aid supplementary nursing system www.lact-aid.com

Keep us posted...

Fondly,

Hi Vanessa:
Wow, I'm sorry your PBM delivered so soon. But at 9 weeks early, they can do well. I believe they can do well after 28 weeks so I'm sure the NICU is taking good care of Lily. We are here to support you as you go up to take care of this baby. If you are able to post up there, then keep in touch. We are learning from Lenore, too, on how to handle an early delivery.

We were almost looking at one, fingers-crossed. Our surrogate is due Sept 11th but lost her mucus plug. So far it doesn't look like she is progressing to labor. FINGERS CROSSED!

Good luck on your pumping. I hope everything goes smoothly with your placement.

Thanks for your responses. Lenore I have indeed contacted my agency but since they are in GA and the baby is in I they seem pretty powerless. Our RI social worker is not answering her pages!!! ARGH. So we still sit here in GA wondering what to do. I really want to go and see our new baby. I read your story today and really identified with your lack of parental feelings. I feel so sorry for Lily lying alone in a crib and would like to go be a Mother to her but we just haven't had the go-ahead yet. I think seeing her and doing things for her would help us to feel more like parents. We've decided to wait until our social worker can get assurances that we can see the baby and be involved in her care before we leave for RI. Hopefully tomorrow...

We've heard from the PBM's roomate who has seen the baby. She said the baby appears to be doing well. THey told her that the ventilator will probably come out today or tomorrow. They said that the baby is trying to expell it and seems pretty strong. But of course I know that this is a roller coaster ride and things could change, but I already feel proud that little Lily is such a fighter.

I also spoke to the PBM today and she seemed groggy but ok. She is still very sick from the pre-eclampsia and will be in hospital for several more days. She only got to see the baby for the briefest of moments but will be moved to the same hospital as the baby when she is stable.

The other good thing that happened today is that in all the phone calls I've received from the PBM, the roommate, the PBM's mother they have all referred to the baby as Lily, the name we chose for her. THat gives us a great deal of permission to say, "why yes, this is our baby"

Well, I hope to have more news tomorrow. Until then, thank you for your well wishes.

Vanessa

Hi Vanessa,

You are most welcome. I might add that now that Adam is nearly 5 years old, I feel quite "parental"...and it didn't take long...when he was 4 months old he looked up at me and smiled and that was it....hook, line, sinker....it was LOVE.

And if you ask him how much mommy loves him, he'll tell you "Big as the sky!".

Hang in there honey. From everything you're saying, it sounds very much like you're taking this baby home. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Fondly,

Vanessa,
You, your hubbym Lilly, BM & caregivers are in my thoughts and prayers. Try to get all your pumpings in during the chaos ... it is so IMPORTANT. Also, plan your "Pumping Bag" to take with you ... you will need some dish soap to wash your parts etc, extra ziplock bags.

Hang in there .. . you're doing great.

Aloha,
Christina

Hi ladies,

Just wanted to drop in and let you know that we are headed up to RI tomorrow. The PBM, Lysa is now in the same hospital as Lily and is doing much better. She called today and we chatted for ages. She seems in really good spirits. She has spoke to the hospital social worker and I think we will get to stay in Ronald McDonald House. Lily is doing as expected. She is still ventilated and has a feeding tube. They expect her to come off the ventilator soon and I am trying like crazy to make milk for her. Today, while pumping, I had my first white drops and a little bit of spray. I really hope I can make milk for her. I've heard that breastmilk really helps preemies to thrive.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers and say a special prayer for baby Lily.

Vanessa

Vanessa, You will make milk for little Lily. You already are sweetie <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I will keep you all in my prayers and you are right. Breastmilk is the best thing for her.