hello,

I was just wondering if anyone on these forums had breastfed a baby of another race? Did you run into any problems, issues, or was all positive?

We will be adopting from South Africa - and I'm not so worried for here in Canada as I don't really care what others think, but am wondering about while i'm there with all the racial tensions, history, if I will have any problems. Not expecting anyone to answer this, just wondering if anyone has gone through it in other situations.

Thank you!

Our baby will be AA, no experience yet, but I wonder about it too.

my daughter is multi-racial and we had no issues. We don't know her complete history but she is part chamorro (guam) and her skin is dark. She was born with a ton of black hair and as she got older it got curly. The biggest issue we had was when we were all together somewhere people would assume she was my oldest sons daughter. He was 15 when we adopted her. It made me sad that people were so ready to think that this young man was a Daddy already.
I Nursed in Public all the time and no one ever made a comment. I can't tell you what they thought. Probably that I was married to a black man. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I never had anyone say anything negative to me and people of color always came up and admired her. And were more than willing to answer any hair care or skincare questions I had. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Our kids are biracial, and I BF our ds. I nursed in public all the time and never ahd a problem. I am sure people just assumed that I was married to a black man.

I breastfed our 9 year old. She is biracial. I never had any problems either. But there are so many interracial families anymore I don't think it matters that much these days

It is encouraging to read that others haven't had any problems... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My youngest son (biological) has bright red hair and my husband and I both have dark hair (my husbands father and my grandfather are both red-heads) and more than once I have had people comment to me that I must have "stepped out" or similiar things... most people have been being funny, but it still hurt a little. Then, this older woman came up to us while we were out for breakfast after church a couple weeks ago, and said "Wow, and he stayed with you??" I couldn't believe it!!! I wish I had thought of something clever to say, but instead I just explained our family history... And all that over red hair!!!!! I will have to think of something clever if it should happen with our adoption... <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

wow that is sad that anyone would have the nerve to talk like that but there are pretty ignorant people in this world. I wouldnt explain myself to any one. I am a foster parent and have as many as 8or9 children with me on an outing. I've had people say are all of these yours? I just smile and say yes they are. And of course they all look different. People are going to think what ever they want. So let them think it.

Here, here! Excellent responses.

Back when I was having infertility problems people would come up to me at weddings or children's birthday parties and say all kinds of things. At one good friend's wedding, her soon-to-be sister-in-law asked me how long I had been married (6 years) and why I didn't have children....didn't I ike children? This after 8 miscarriages.....

Or the person who came up to me at a family gathering shortly after I had suffered a miscarriage and said "I would have called you but I'm not that kind of person" and then laughed in my face! Honestly, some people are just so socially inept that we have to pity them.

Best,

Agreed Lenore.

I left my very good job with the Canadian Government, which I loved, after my son died, because I couldn't handle people's responses. Most weren't "trying" to be hurtful, but they were... turning around and going the other way when they would see me coming, or changing the subject abruptly if babies or pregnancy, or God forbid - my son - came up in conversation. And others who told me that "at least he was so young" or that it is good that my husband and I are so young, like he is replaceable. I must also say, to the credit of these women, that in the days and weeks after I had an enormous amount of support from my co-workers, they just didn't understand. I guess I can't be upset about that, it would be my wish that nobody every understands, because that means that they don't have to live what is my reality.

A little off topic from trans-racial breastfeeding, but hey! <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

But what do you think it is about people that most of us are unable to say - "I really have no clue how to handle what you are going through but I really want to be there for you - tell me what will be best for you?". We just found out this past weekend that a close family member has a brain tumour and trying to find what to say, and how to be there for them is very difficult. You want to respect their space, but don't want them to feel forgotten about - you want to help an "do something" if they need it, but have no clue what that would look like. I think sometimes the only way people can relate to things is to personalize the experience - once i was at a play group with my adopted son and a woman (well meaning) just came up to me and said "I'm ok with him being here because we have people like him in our family"....well!!!! There are so many things wrong with that sentence i won't even start, but she just felt the need to relate our adoption back to her own life and i think that happens a lot.
But i think better to ask then assume, even if it is difficult.

mommy2three - I work for the can. gov. too - small world!