Hello! For those who have adopted before, how do you handle the stress and waiting at the end?? Our expectant mother is due any day now, I'm so afraid its not going to work out, and at the same time I'm filled with excitement (and a little anxiousness) about it working out. We aren't really sure about her exact due date, because she didn't get prenatal until we thought she was about 30 weeks, then they did a quick ultrasound and said 28, then a really long detailed ultrasound and decided on 26 - which doesn't make any sense to her. So, that puts us somewhere between 37 and 41 weeks right now. Her last pregnancy she measured very small all the way through, gave birth at 36 weeks (placenta abruption) and the baby weighed 5lbs and 2 or 3 ounces.

I know I know... I'm rattling on and on with irrelevant info!! LOL... I'm just so jittery waiting. Everytime she doesn't call us back or email for a day or two I start to panic thinking she's changed her mind (which honestly, I love her to death and think she is a great mom, so in some regard I'd be happy for her, dissappointed but happy too). I just would rather know one way or the other exactly what is going to happen. I guess I'm a control freak in new territory here...


OK OK, I'll stop typing ... lol

Oh don't stop typing - at least it takes part of the hours that remain. I'm an IM via traditional surrogacy with one odd exception. My sister is our surrogate. She is due to be induced on August 2nd - only 10 more days - tomorrow we are counting down single digits - woohoo!!!! Anyways, the exception is sis is pregnant with a baby girl. We said from the very beginning - if the babe is a girl and you want to keep her we will allow you to do so. (We know how bad she wanted a girl.) So far, she has said "no that this is mine and dh's babe. But, I know that could always change. We've agreed to a 48 hour post delivery decision making time. And as you said in your situation - sis is a great mom and her dh is a wonderful dad. Yes, our hearts would be broken for ourselves but joyful for them if that's what they decide. But it sure makes for an anxious few days! Oh well, only God knows and it is all in His hands.
To answer your ? - "How do you handle the waiting????" I spend a lot of time on the internet, reading mommy magazines, checking one more time to see if I forgot to buy anything Abigail might need, washing, ironing, checking in on sis, yard work. Is that enough? I keep looking for things to do besides watching the clock and calendar.
Ugghhh! I think I'm going koooky!
Let's wait together!
Kim
10 more days till Abigail is in my arms!

My oldest daughter is Abigail... we call her Abbey most of the time. SHe loves her name too. She will turn 6 on August 25th. My youngest is Benjamin (Ben or Benny) and he will turn 3 in November. I have one in the middle, Wesley, he would be 4 in October but he earned his wings after 36 hours of life. This is a girl again, we will name her Miriam ... same middle name as my older daughter, Dawn after my father Donald. **sigh**

Yes, lets wait together.

We are a combined family. DH has 2 kids that he and I raised and I have 1 that we raised. Dh's are 22 yo dd (Jamie) & 17 yo ds (Josh) and my dd is 19 (Danielle). So we are starting over with Abigail! Yeah!
Well, I just talked to sis and she says "no way" about keeping Abigail. She says she has no desire to raise another child but is so very very much ready to just be done. It's hot (here in FL), she's tired and now is starting to really swell. Hopefully, we'll have some good news at the ob appt tomorrow that I can update with.
Are you able to attend any appts? This is an adoption for you - right? I think that's what I remembered anyways??
Before we decided to go the surrogate route we were foster parents hoping to adopt. Although we enjoyed being involved in many childrens lives there were too many broken hearts and too many broken promises from workers.
Oh well, I guess God had other plans for us.
Talk with ya tomorrow!
Kim

My sister lives in Canada and I live in the USA, I don't know how surrogate would work, and honestly I'm sure she wouldn't agree, lol. Surrogacy is very expensive from what I know... but I haven't really looked into it.

We met a woman near our home who knew we were hoping to adopt. When she found herself in this situation, she contacted me. So, here we are, somewhere between 37 and 41 weeks. She is a very tiny framed person, and everyone I know with her build seems to be told by the docs that there baby is small, and then comes out average size. So, I don't know. I'm trying not to worry about that too, lol.

She could go any day, I know she is hoping before July 30th so that she can make it to some events she has scheduled, she doesn't want to have a big belly and have to explain to people she hardly knows right at the end of the pregnancy.

My almost 6yr old is so excited about having a girl, she was with me in the ultrasound room for my 2 yr old and she cried when they announced he is a boy, lol. She dragged the pieces to my crib into her room begging my husband to put it together, something which we have decided to wait on until our little Miriam comes home.

LOL... when we chose the name Miriam we read in a baby book that it means "God's precious gift" or "Longed for child" then we learned it also means bitterness, so we are just going to ignore that last one. lol.

I love hte name Abigail/Abbey!! I thought I was choosing something original when I named my Abbey that. Nope, lol. There are so many, its funny though, I never thought about how we spell "Abbey" just put the E in there, well, she became "Abbey with an E" at her last school, all the other Abbey's were Abby's. LOL At her new school she is starting this year all the Abbey's have an E, so she is excited.

See, now I'm typing too much again!! LOL. My problem is I type nearly as fast as I think... LOL

Well, we had our 37w6d checkup today. HB is good! BP is good! and sis is now 2-3 cm dialated. Our induction is officially scheduled for 8/3. She'll go in in the am and we should have a baby by the end of the day! Woohoo!
Next appt in 1 week.
Kim
still 10 more days!

how exciting!!! : ): )


I haven't heard from our expectant mom today. She usually emails me every day to let me know how she is doing.

mommy2three,
Any news yet? I woke up thinking about ya'll this am. Just checking.

Actually haven't even heard from our expectant mother in several days... I'm going to call her and see if she wants me to pick her up for lunch today or tomorrow.

Sounds like a good way to keep in touch with her. I know my sis said this week that she is getting nervous but by no means is having second thoughts about the baby being ours. Keep in touch!

Yippeee... looks like your delivery day is fast approaching!! I hope you are getting some sleep (yeah right!) and relaxing before the big day tomorrow.

I have one more week...

No sleep for this chick! Although, I am so tired - I just can't even think of sleep. Sis and her fam are all here. Our usually quiet house of 3 right now has 12 people in it. Really no rest for the weary!
We have to be at the hospital at 6 am. Hopefully, will have baby in our arms by early afternoon.
I will post asap hopefully, with a pic.

Congrats on finding out how much longer - I know for me the first 8 months and 2 weeks flew by but this last week has taken every minute soooooo slowly. Best wishes and my prayers are with ya.

Has your bm settled down at all? Is she more relaxed about everything since her last appt?

Will update as soon I can.
Thanks for your prayers.
Kim

Yes, our bm is doing much better, thanks.

Its about 10am... you're probably on your way to a baby!! Can't wait to see those pictures!!

Ok, here it is 2:15 p.m. Sis is 70% effaced and still at a -2or -3. Dr. said to start praying her down because if she checks her at 3 and she still hasn't dialated past 4 we are going to have to start to schedule a c section. Her pitocin is at the max amount and she needs to dialate.
So please pray that Abigail moves on down the canal.
Thanks in advance,
Kim

OK... almost 2:30 and some big time prayers going your way!!! Thanks for the update, I was thinking about you but didn't expect to see you on!!

Hoping Abigail moved down. Prayers headed your way a little late. Are they letting her squat? That would certainly help.

She made it!!!
She is a very healthy big bean.
8 lb 8 oz
20 1/2 in
born 4:06 pm sunny side up

I'll try later to send a pic - don't know how to yet
Thanks for the prayers. it was only a matter of 30 min to go from 4 cm to fully dialated
Sis had to push for 75 minutes - she's a trooper
Kim

Congratulations!!!!! Welcome to the world Abigail!

Here are a few pics
We tried to go to the breast but have not yet been successful. It took her from delivery at 4:06 to 9 pm before I finally gave in and fed her via an avent bottle. Nurses are saying because of the trauma of the difficult delivery to keep trying just that she's pretty bruised and sore. So we're gonna give it another go in the a.m.
http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h74/KIMJIMBO/?action=view&current=abigail3.jpg

http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h74/KIMJIMBO/?action=view&current=abigail.jpg

http://s61.photobucket.com/albums/h74/KIMJIMBO/?action=view&current=abigail2.jpg

congratulations, she's beautiful!

Nurses are great at nursing, but if you are having troubles get a lactation consultant right away to help get her latched. Lactation consultants will give better advice in this area. THere should be one on staff at the hospital, if not get one in on your own. It's better to get her going right away...

Congrats again!! She's beautiful and you all look so happy!!

Congrats Kim she is beautiful. You are a Mommy!!! How are things going this morning? Mommy3three is right get with a lactation consultant.

Woohoo! She fed at the breast for about 15 minutes this am.
Thanks everyone!

awww she is beautiful.. .What a great looking family!

I just tried to call our bm, and her phone is turned off. I had to pay it last month (its Metro PCS, so if its one day late they turn it off)... I'm worried about her, she should be going any day and I have no way to contact her. Her internet was turned off (I think) a couple weeks ago. She does have a house number, but we only exchanged cell numbers. I'm worried about her.

Hopefully she gets induced soon, and she can focus on getting herself to a better spot, and we will have our new baby we have been praying for.

**sigh** Everyone, please say a prayer for our bm.

Thanks,
Kristen

Kristen, I'll be praying for all 3 of ya - bm, babe, & yourself. Let us know when you hear from her!