Hi All,

Well against everyone objections, the BM decided to call the BF. He was rude and belligerant. He told her she had a balck heart for giving this baby up. He wants his mother to raise the baby. Both and the BF and his mother have records and would not prove fit.

I just don't know how much mroe I can take. My marriage is crumbling and this adoption is shaky and I feel liek I want to run away. I am so tired.

My left rbeast is not working anymore and is startign to hurt. I just feel rotten.

Thanks for listening,

Eden

Eden,
Adoption is not easy, it is very stressfull. We were just an airplane ride away from Utah, to adopt a baby that had been due in 2 weeks, a girl. There was a communicable disease that we wanted her tested for, as the medical profile we had to BEG to get (supposed to be given to us as standard procedure) said she had "a liver problem"....they would not get her blood tested for hepatitis...they kept saying, pay the 28 thousand and come to Utah, we will work everything out when you get here! I am still not over that failed adoption. The birth parents were so nice and I feel that I let them down.
We had tried a total of 3 agencies in the USA and had had enough. We also tried to adopt in 5 different countries back in 91 before we found a baby boy in Peru. It is hell. It is stressfull. It is also the most wonderfull thing to finally be able to hold your child and esp. after the waiting period is over for her to change her mind. The sense of relief etc...
It sounds like this adoption may still work out...esp if the birth father and his mom are not fit to parent. I also wish she did not call him, but maybe she has some fantasy that he will ask her to marry him or something, who know's.
Our marriage has been through the ringer also, with the seven lost preg, 4 IVF, 2 international adoptions and building a house together to top it all off. It makes your marriage stronger. We went to counseling before, during and after our fertility tx's and our adoption. It helps...go see someone,,,both of you. And , know you are not alone, we are all here for you! Things will work out, keep your chin up,,,hugs,,,Cathy

Hey Eden,

Hang in there sweetie. Maybe it's time for a visit to the couple's counselor. My husband and I went. It was the best thing we ever did. It really helped to get us through all the ups and downs.

Fondly,