|
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 6
newbie
|
OP
newbie
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 6 |
I have really been depressed lately. We have been waiting since September of Last year to be chosen by a BM. I am 46 and my hubby is 49. Our ages seem to be a problem because when a young girl sees our ages we are the age of her grandparents!
I have chosen the "natural method" in inducing lactation and am pumping appx 4 times a day and am up to 4-5oz per day. I know it is not a lot, but I feel that since it has been increasing very slowly, that when the time comes, I will have adequate for the baby if I use a lactaid for a while.
I have been pumping since March 17 of this year and taking dom, and 3 types of herbs and eating oatmeal daily. I found that if I do not eat oatmeal, the next day I pump less! So I make sure I eat my oatmeal. Last month I starte saving milk, this month I doubled my milk storage. I plan to pump and wait patiently until November. After that maybe I should just stop.
My husband gets discouraged and says we will never get a baby and why am I being so dedicated to pumping and producing milk?
My answer is that I feel like I am doing something constructive while waiting for our little one.
Please pray for us. We cannot afford international adoption so we are very limited. We cannot afford surrogacy or IVF. I want to stay home with our baby and currently we are debt free accept for our house and we want to stay that way. If we adopt inernationally it can cost up to 20,000 so we will be in debt and I will have to work to pay it off and I won't be home with our baby!
Thanks for listening, I just had to vent! It gets so hard waiting to be chosen!!!
God help us!
Thanks again for listening Rosie Hopeful mommy to be
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,347 Canada
extra helpful experienced member
|
extra helpful experienced member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,347 Canada |
Wow Rosie!!
You're doing GREAT!!! You've already reached the point where you will be able to provide all the immune benefits to your baby. Keep up the great work and take heart, a baby will come to you.
Fondly,
Lenore Goldfarb, Ph.D.,CCC,IBCLC Wife to Rob, Mom to Adam aged 13, and Ethan aged 9, both born via GS and breastfed via Regular Newman-Goldfarb Protocol.
|
|
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
Hi, I am in my late 30's and my husband early 40's...we still waitied for two years in the USA and the only "match' was a birthmom with hepatitis and a fee of 28 thousand dollars...we did the whole foster parent training thing etc...and were willing to go up to age SEVEN for a boy! We tried all fifty states and could not find a child anywhere. So, we decided to go international again,,even though we had an absolutely horrible time with our son's adoption in Peru in 1991. We are expecting this adoption to go way over our original 30 thousand dollar mark,,,,I know what you are saying, my son's fee's were 30 thousand and I had to go back to work full time , I had 19 thousand on credit cards when we got him hoime, we had enough cash saved, but then an 8 week adoption turned into almost 7 months, and one parent was required to stay down there the whole entire time..so that added up. It looks like our Guatemalan journey will be much of the same as Peru. We missed the cutoff by ONE day for cases to be processed the "old" way in 4 months,,,the "new" way after signing the Hague Treaty is expected for adoptions to now take at least one year. So, we will fly back and forth at 700-1400 each plane ticket and in between I will continue to work my 72 hours a week. I know of alot of adopting couples who take out second mortgages, who sell thier homes and move into an apartment, who get second jobs etc . we have been saving for 10 years for this, have no living room furniture and the rest of our stuff is chipped and peeling hand me downs. We only eat out about 1x a month, same for a movie. We get our clothes at thrift stores and Goodwill. I just wanted to let you know that even couples in their 30's have problems with domestic adoption. If there is any way you could try guatemala, under the new system it may actuallyeventually be easier than what we are going through, they go up to age 55 for even a newborn! Keep your chin up..great milk production by the way! Take care, Cathy
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 76
member
|
member
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 76 |
Rosie, I just wanted to say that I hear you. There are times that I too get very depressed. I think at times all the reasons why a bm would not pick us. The biggest thing I worry about is my hubby and I both just high school graduates. I often wonder if we will wait a long time becasue we do not have degrees. I think to that we may not look like the perfect family. By hubby and I are both slightly overweight. In our favor though we have an adorable almost 3 year old boy that we adopted in 2000. We waited about a year for him once we were approved. To our son's bm we were the perfect family. She actually was not pleased with all the really young thin looking families. Her family background is heavyweight so she wanted to place her baby with a family that he would fit in with in case he was bigger when he got older. The very thing I was most worried about was the very thing that helped our son's bm to pick us. So you just never know why birth parents will pick you. Your age may actaully work to your favor. Remember not just young girls place but older women too. Our son's bm was 23. I was expecting a teenager and we got a more mature emotionally stable bm. I hear you about wanting to be a stay at home mom. Even though we are in debt I stay home with our son. This I would not trade for all the money in the world. Our time together is precious. Have you thought about getting your adoption profile on the internet. I would reccomend doing this if you are open to it. There is a site where couples can register with called Hope to Adopt, the address is www.hopetoadopt.com. There fees are low and very resonable. As of this point we are not on the internet but perhaps in a few months we will be. Many couples are finding babies this way. These last few weeks for some reason I have been very happy. I think because in a way my perspective has changed a little. I still think about my baby and I still want my baby to come but I am really trying to be content with what I have. Counting my blessings has helped so much. Before our son came I to got to this point, and you know what not to long after this we recieved the long awaited phone call. Another thing that has helped me is looking forward to the things that are happening in my life. Like what's coming up each week, month, etc. This gives me things to look forward to. Praying to my Heavenly Father has been the most help. Here is someone who truely understands and knows my pain. Once while pondering on getting our baby a phrase popped in to my head that I remember each day and try to do. The phrase was, "Ask in faith and you shall recieve little one". This has been tremdous comfort to me. I feel that if I but ask in faith and believing that it will happen that in deed it will happen my baby will come. I hope that this will give you some comfort. We too cannot afford to go interantionally or through agencies that are out of our budget. But that's okay because I think that we just need to be patient and that our baby will come through the agency that we are using. Our babies end up right where they are supposed to will a little help from up above. Take Care, Bella
|
|