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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 76
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 76 |
Well after much soul searching and a very hard week I have decided that it is time to quit pumping. Things happened that were pretty much out of our control and now both my husband and myself are feeling wounded and hurt. First one thing happened and then we learned that we could still have a year or more wait for a baby. I do not have it in me to pump for another year. I need to regroup and take some time out for myself and my family.
I want to take the money that I am spending on the domperidone and herbs and put it in our baby fund. Maybe we can help our baby nest egg to grow and in the future we can take a serious look at other agencies. If a year from now I am still in the same boat it is my hope that we can have enough money saved to go to some other agencies.
I want to be free to do things that I could not if I was pumping. I want/ need to lose weight. This summer we want to host a fresh air kid from NYC. I do not want to pump in front a child that I hardly know. I work with the teenage girls at church. Last summer I was asked to chaperone some overnight things and I said no because I was pumping. I could have done it but it would have been hard. So this summer I want to be able to say yes and go and have a blast with the girls. And to help our nest egg to grow and to help pay off some debt I am planning on babysitting in my home. I have several interviews with prospective families this week. Some of the kids are babies so I think that would be fun. I think it would be good for me to watch a baby and enjoy seeing them grow. I know it would be good practice for when our baby finally does come. One other thing I want to do is reactivate myself as an active volunteer for our adoption agency. I love giving presentations on adoption and I love working with prospective birthmothers. So I have some good things in the works and I think that I need to invest some time in them.
If by a miracle a baby were to come in the next few months or even the next six then great. But I need to realistically look at the situation so I can go on and be happy. Maybe once I put it out of my mind a little and get happy about life again, maybe just maybe something good will happen.
Please let me know what I need to do to stop. This week I have been taking 3 pills of compounded dom. a day. I have only been pumping 4 times. Next week would I take only 2 pills. How many times a day should I pump? Please help me to know what I need to do so I can stop.
I hate it that it has come to this. I thought-thought that things would be different. I truley thought and felt that I would go on the protocol for 6 months, take some time to pump and get a full supply before a baby came. Then soon after getting a full supply my baby would come. But none of that happened. So now I need to do what is best for me and my family.
I will nurse my baby when they come. I am determined to nurse my baby. I will either start when I know of baby or start when I have a baby in my arms. If we have any advanced notice I will either do the accelerated protocol or start with just domperidone and pumping. If I can at least get up to 15ozs. a day like I am now then I will be happy.
I am donating 300 ozs. of my milk to a friend the rest I plan on donating to myslef to use in the lactaide when my baby finally does come. Nona said once that babies have thrived on milk 2 years old so hopefully too could my baby.
Thank you all for your help and support. It has meant so much to me. Best of luck to all of you with your babies.
Take Care,
Bella
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 272
extra helpful experienced member
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extra helpful experienced member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 272 |
I think you made the best decision, Bella. If pumping is not making you happy, then don't do it. It's as simple as that.
I don't know a lot about quitting. I say drop a pumping a week, if you can manage it. Maybe even every 5 days. You should try to only pump to relieve engorgement. Don't pump for 15-20 minutes. Pump for 10 or less, or until you don't feel engorged. You want your breasts to get the idea that they should stop making milk, and if you keep emptying them, they will keep making more milk.
Also, cabbage leaves in the bra is supposed to be a great help in drying up your milk. I have heard that from a lot of different sources.
Hopefully someone with more experience will chime in here. Good Luck!! And I hope you will still visit us sometimes!
wife to Jim, mommy to Daphne and Jeran and Jalen
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 135 Idaho
experienced member
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experienced member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 135 Idaho |
Hi Bella, That sounds like a reasonable decision. I know how tough it must have been to make it. Hang in there! Thankfully you can take a break from pumping without giving up on a baby. And it is possible to have a great nursing experience starting from zero milk supply-- that's what I did with my Joshua, who came home at 4 months. I hope 2004 is the year of your baby!
God bless!
Last edited by owlhaven; 01/09/04 05:38 PM.
Mary in Idaho, mom to 7, including 2 from Korea, and Emily Zion (1�) coming home from Ethiopia in February!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 19
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 19 |
Hi Bella,
I wanted to support you in your decision. It sounds to me that you have given this decision great thought, and took the time you needed to figure out what is right for you and your family.
I know in my heart there is a baby waiting for you, and you will find each other. And when you do, you will breastfeed your child, and your supply will come in and meethis needs. I just know it.
hugs, Jean
1 week ~ 10ml
2 weeks ~20ml
3 weeks ~ 30ml
4 weeks ~ 45ml
5 weeks - back to ~30ml after 2 days w/o serious pumping
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Hi Bella,
I totally understand what you are going through,, I had thought the same thing,,that I would do the protocol, have a full supply, and then adopt a newborn. When domestic didn't work out, and we went to international again,,we were promised to have our daughter home by 4 months old,,and I was going to foster her in Guatemala the whole time. We'll she is 6.5 months old, and still stuck over there,,,the last two months have been especially hard, not only missing her first Thanksgiving and Christmas,,but because our file has been sitting on the social workers desk in Guat. since Nov 17th and she has not even looked at it yet. Add to that, the almost five months where our lawyer has done nothing!
When I stopped pumping, I did what you are doing, weaned down the dosage of domperidone and the frequency of pumping. I still have 9 boxes of domperidone, a PIS, a SNS, 4 Lact-aids, brand new Motherwear nursing tops, dresses, PJ's, a hand pump and 10 Avent bottles that I don't know what I am going to do with. I wanted to just try the domperidone and pumping without the protocol this time, but my blood sugar is high and I have even had cellulitis 2x the last 4 months to where I needed IV antibiotics last time...so..I am trying to think of my health. I could use donor milk in the Lact-aid,,but Ana will be at the earliest 9-10 months old when she gets back, and I will try, but will unlikely get her to latch,,,I did our first visit when she was 8 weeks old, but after that she screamed so much when I tried.
I am leaving this Friday for our 3rd visit,,,my son and hulbby are going also..
I think you made the right decision..I agree with saving the money to keep your other options open. I went back on the Atkins to get some of this weight off,,if you want info about it let me know...take care, Cathy
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