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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 91
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OP
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 91 |
Well, it has beeen so stressful of late. We are running into trouble with the BF. We can still take custody of the baby, who will be born in seven days, but we will have to stay in PA and fight for her.....there is a mandatory four month waiting period for involutary relinquishment. UGh! And PA law favors the birthfamily....even though this guy is 85-- dollars in
arrears on back child support four his six other kids by five women that he does not support and he has no job....save for selling rock.
We just have to decide if we are up to such a risk as a four month....any day she might be taken...kind of a situation. I would be alone for most of it, my DH has to work.
Thanks,
Eden
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 76
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Eden,
I just wanted to lend you my support. Living in PA I have heard that the adoption laws are not that good. We got our son from another state and ended up finalizing his adoption in the state that he was born, due to problems with our lawyer things that she did not understand.
I will say though that we have friends who finalized here in PA who I think had a pretty good lawyer, who handles many aspects of adoption. If you want I could get you her name if you would want it. Depending on where you were in PA.
Living in PA myself I could help you with hotels or an apartment if you needed to find one. I am familiar with different areas of PA as we have moved around alot. If you needed to know any information about a certain area I would be glad to give it. You could probaly stay just about anywhere in PA, it would not have to be close to where the baby was born. In saying that close to where I am hotels and apartments are pretty cheap.
I still think that there is a good chance that you could get this baby. What judge in their right mind would let this man have custody? Or would the bm keep if it came to that? Perhaps from the bf past history they would go ahead and allow the adoption to proceed. You could cautiously proceed and find a dynamite lawyer. One thing I will say that I think that at least in the smaller areas in PA many people are conservatives this could work to your favor. At least where we are many are family oriented.
Anyway if you need any help with any of these things let me know via this message board and I would be glad to help. I can then let you know my e-mail address if you need it.
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Eden
I hope everything works out for you. The whole time we were in Peru, over six months, our son could have been taken away at any time,,it was very stressfull. I don't think a judge would give the birth father custody. Maryland is also a "bad" state for adoptions...good luck to you, Cathy
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,176
extra helpful experienced member
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extra helpful experienced member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,176 |
Eden,
I am praying for you..
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk 
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 91
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OP
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 91 |
thanks all,
I am wrecked and feeling so vulnerable. I am wondering how people keep up with pumping when everything is so uncertain.
What will happen if I drop down to four a day and nothing at night?
Thanks,
Eden
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Eden,
It is very hard, whether it is domestic or international, few adoptions are easy. I went down to 4 pumpings a day the last few days, if it ends up somehow that his adoption works out, I will up the pace again. I hope everything works out,,keep us posted...thanks, Cathy
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 272
extra helpful experienced member
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extra helpful experienced member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 272 |
I have been praying for you. I saw your post on the FT bulletin board, too. I know this is the last thing you need on top of everything this poor birthmother has put you through. But, at least in the long run, this way is better. If the birthmother hadn't told the birthfather, than he could come back at any time and contest the adoption. It may be more difficult this way, but at least this way you know without a doubt that everything is being done to the letter of the law, and when you bring that baby home, no one, ever, will be able to take that baby away.
As for pumping, if it is becoming too much to keep up with the pumping, I would definitely cut back for now. Especially the middle of the night session. I am sure you need as much sleep as you can get right now! You can always pick up more sessions later, or let the baby do the work, and use a LactAid.
I will continue to pray for you and your family.
wife to Jim, mommy to Daphne and Jeran and Jalen
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