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Hi Everyone,

My Husband and I are adopting a newborn and we are currently waiting to be "matched" with a birth mother. I have been on the regular protocol for 3.5 months now and am just waiting for that exciting phone call. My question is, should I really start pumping 6 weeks prior to our babies birth(if we even have that much notice) my biggest fear is that I will begin to pump, get a supply and the BM could change her mind leaving me with milk and no baby.(knock on wood!!) should I just wait until papers are signed and we have our 2 day old baby home safe and begin nursing with a supplementer? or should i take the chance and start pumping 6 weeks in advance?

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I don't think there many people left on the forum with a lot of experience. not many questions lately have been answered but this one I will take a stab at. I think this needs to come down to pain. Its the same way with adoption in general. You have to weigh how much it would hurt if she changes her mind versus how much it would hurt if in the end being cautious wasn't warranted. Also I think it depends on the nature of the adoption too. We have been match 5 times already. Four of those the birthmother 'went missing' and just stopped returning calls. Our current match is with a birthmother who has already lost children to fostercare adoption multiple times, she cannot keep a child and desperately doesn't want her child in foster care. Our situation now is about as 'sure' as it gets in the adoption world. if this match was like the others I wouldn't for a second count on it. The pain of pumping milk for me would be heart breaking. HOWEVER others have the capability of seeing any milk the express as a tool. It is frozen and stored for use later for nights or times when she may be working or otherwise away. Also gives the partner a way to feed the child early on without using formula. And they store up that milk for whatever time it ends up working out. If you can look at your breast milk expression that way then you should definitely go ahead and do it. I don't have the capacity. Every failed match broke my heart too badly.

And then weigh the hurt. Would it hurt more if it didn't work out and she changed her mind and you spend time pumping waiting for a match that does, or would it hurt more having your child not exclusively breast fed until your milk supply was high enough to do so. Weigh the pain. Then affirm that decision and run with it.

Last edited by AdoptingAnAngel; 03/11/16 03:31 PM.
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Thank you Adopting an Angel! This helps a lot! Good luck on your match! When is the Birthmother due? Best wishes to you!

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Michelle, how did things work out?

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Hi Claudia,

We brought home our sweet little baby girl 3 1/2 weeks ago. smile We are beyond happy! I didnt start pumping until the day she was born (we were matched the day she was born) so it has been a struggle using the Lact-aid and pumping for 10 min after every feed. My supply is coming in slowly but surely. I am guessing that I am making around 2 oz a day right now. I was on the regular protocol for 10 months so I am hoping to get at least 4 oz a day for immunological benefits. How long do you think my supply will continue to increase?

Last edited by MamaMichelle; 10/21/16 09:02 AM.

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