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Joined: Sep 2002
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My husband and I have talked for awhile about doing traditional surrogacy. But it just seems to techinical and expensive!! Would love to hear others views on this and the different policies involving it. <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/grin.gif" alt="" />
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 111
experienced member
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experienced member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 111 |
Hi Nona, My husband and I looked into it too. There are several ways to do it. There is "traditional surrogacy" as you mentioned where the surrogate is impregnated with the intended father's sperm and "gestational surrogacy" where the embryo from the intended parents is carried by the surrogate mom and surrogacy using an egg donor where the surrogate mom carries the embryo formed by the intended father and an egg donor. Depending on the Country or State, the intended mother may or may not need to do a "step-parent adoption". In California, the intended parent's names go right on the birth certificate regardless of how the baby is concieved. You would need to check the laws of your particular state. It's not usually too difficult to find out. When I was looking, I just went to www.google.com and keyword "surrogacy laws in "state". As for the cost. It really depends on how you go about this. If you can find a relative or friend who is willing, then your costs will be limited to legal fees surrounding finalization of the birth certificate or step parent adoption. If you use an agency, they will charge a fee but it's usually the safest route. A reputable agency will have very high standards for accepting potential surrogate moms and will screen couples as well. It takes a few months to be "matched" but they will most likely also provide a "counselor" who acts as a liason between you and your surrogate. You want a surrogate who has had children before so you have an OB history to look at. And you want someone who's motives are not just financial. If you use an agency, it's the most secure but also the most expensive way to go. Esther
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Joined: Sep 2002
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OP
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I have been talking with a surrogate who donates breastmilk to my program. She has been telling me the different programs available
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 111
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experienced member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 111 |
Nona, Your friend who is a surrogate mom is an excellent resource. We don't often have the opportunity to see things from their perspective. There are several list serves that cater to surrogate moms. There is also this list serve that caters to parents http://www.surrogacy.com/boards/index.htmland this web site : http://www.surromomsonline.comEsther
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Joined: Sep 2002
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Just wanted to give you an update. I thought we were going to have a surro mommy. But her fees were 27,000. This just beaks my heart so much. I could swing about 12,000. Don't know where to go from here. Maybe giving up? Just needed a little vent...I am depressed <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif" alt="" />
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 111
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Oh Nona!!! I'm so sorry to hear this. <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif" alt="" /> That sounds like a heck of a lot of $$$ to me. How many times has she done this? The cap is about $30K. Her uterus must be made of gold or something. <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif" alt="" /> Is there a friend or family member you can ask? What about www.surromomsonline.com? They have a lot of lovely ladies over there. You know what? I just thought of something...do you have any attorneys specializing in surrogacy in your state? They would be the best source of information. There's probably only one or two that handle all the surrogacy arrangements and finalizations. Maybe one of them could suggest a source of surromoms? <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/confused.gif" alt="" /> Nona, my momma always told me that when the good lord closes a door, he always makes sure to leave a window open. Esther.
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Joined: Sep 2002
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Esther, Hello. This is only the second time for this surrogate. We do have a lawyer specializing in surrogacy here. I plan on calling him today. As far as having a friend be a surrogate. I wish I had one that is for sure <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/blush.gif" alt="" /> . But Lenore suggested I place an ad on the surro line. I think I will.
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Joined: Sep 2002
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Thought I would give you Ladies an update. I have been in contact with several Surrogates. I am waiting to hear back from one at the present time. Actually it looks like things might be looking up. Pray that it works for us! If it does. We decided to start insems about march. That way we get through the holidays and the first of the year. Let you know when we have a match <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif" alt="" />
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 111
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Nona,
This sounds GREAT!! I've got everything crossed...fingers, toes, wrists and ankles.... <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif" alt="" /> Esther
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Joined: Sep 2002
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extra helpful experienced member
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OP
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Joined: Sep 2002
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Esther, <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/grin.gif" alt="" /> You are so funny..I can see you sitting there like that. I am still waiting. Her hubby has decided he wants her to do a GS. He has a thing about her having another mans baby with her egg ughhh. So they wanted me to get donated embries or donated eggs. I can't afford that. So She is talking to him again. It may not work. But I will just keep going. <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif" alt="" />
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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