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My husband and I have talked for awhile about doing traditional surrogacy. But it just seems to techinical and expensive!! Would love to hear others views on this and the different policies involving it. <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/grin.gif" alt="" />
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Hi Nona, My husband and I looked into it too. There are several ways to do it. There is "traditional surrogacy" as you mentioned where the surrogate is impregnated with the intended father's sperm and "gestational surrogacy" where the embryo from the intended parents is carried by the surrogate mom and surrogacy using an egg donor where the surrogate mom carries the embryo formed by the intended father and an egg donor. Depending on the Country or State, the intended mother may or may not need to do a "step-parent adoption". In California, the intended parent's names go right on the birth certificate regardless of how the baby is concieved. You would need to check the laws of your particular state. It's not usually too difficult to find out. When I was looking, I just went to www.google.com and keyword "surrogacy laws in "state". As for the cost. It really depends on how you go about this. If you can find a relative or friend who is willing, then your costs will be limited to legal fees surrounding finalization of the birth certificate or step parent adoption. If you use an agency, they will charge a fee but it's usually the safest route. A reputable agency will have very high standards for accepting potential surrogate moms and will screen couples as well. It takes a few months to be "matched" but they will most likely also provide a "counselor" who acts as a liason between you and your surrogate. You want a surrogate who has had children before so you have an OB history to look at. And you want someone who's motives are not just financial. If you use an agency, it's the most secure but also the most expensive way to go. Esther
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I have been talking with a surrogate who donates breastmilk to my program. She has been telling me the different programs available
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Nona, Your friend who is a surrogate mom is an excellent resource. We don't often have the opportunity to see things from their perspective. There are several list serves that cater to surrogate moms. There is also this list serve that caters to parents http://www.surrogacy.com/boards/index.htmland this web site : http://www.surromomsonline.comEsther
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Just wanted to give you an update. I thought we were going to have a surro mommy. But her fees were 27,000. This just beaks my heart so much. I could swing about 12,000. Don't know where to go from here. Maybe giving up? Just needed a little vent...I am depressed <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif" alt="" />
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Oh Nona!!! I'm so sorry to hear this. <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/frown.gif" alt="" /> That sounds like a heck of a lot of $$$ to me. How many times has she done this? The cap is about $30K. Her uterus must be made of gold or something. <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/wink.gif" alt="" /> Is there a friend or family member you can ask? What about www.surromomsonline.com? They have a lot of lovely ladies over there. You know what? I just thought of something...do you have any attorneys specializing in surrogacy in your state? They would be the best source of information. There's probably only one or two that handle all the surrogacy arrangements and finalizations. Maybe one of them could suggest a source of surromoms? <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/confused.gif" alt="" /> Nona, my momma always told me that when the good lord closes a door, he always makes sure to leave a window open. Esther.
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Esther, Hello. This is only the second time for this surrogate. We do have a lawyer specializing in surrogacy here. I plan on calling him today. As far as having a friend be a surrogate. I wish I had one that is for sure <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/blush.gif" alt="" /> . But Lenore suggested I place an ad on the surro line. I think I will.
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Thought I would give you Ladies an update. I have been in contact with several Surrogates. I am waiting to hear back from one at the present time. Actually it looks like things might be looking up. Pray that it works for us! If it does. We decided to start insems about march. That way we get through the holidays and the first of the year. Let you know when we have a match <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif" alt="" />
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Nona,
This sounds GREAT!! I've got everything crossed...fingers, toes, wrists and ankles.... <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif" alt="" /> Esther
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Esther, <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/grin.gif" alt="" /> You are so funny..I can see you sitting there like that. I am still waiting. Her hubby has decided he wants her to do a GS. He has a thing about her having another mans baby with her egg ughhh. So they wanted me to get donated embries or donated eggs. I can't afford that. So She is talking to him again. It may not work. But I will just keep going. <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif" alt="" />
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Posts: 16 Eastern PA, USA
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Amy
Bio Mom to Phillip (11/30/90), Joey (5/11/93), and Emma (8/1/02).
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Amy
#20
10/14/02 12:45 PM
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Thanks so much.. .we have been contacted by many people since posting our add.. The newest to throw me for a loop is.. one who wants to IVF but with her eggs and my husbands sperm... so she can carry multiples... Then at birth she keep on and a I get the rest...boy this is definetly new territory for me..I guess her husband is sterile so this way she gets a baby to....never heard of this one before <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/confused.gif" alt="" />
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Nona,
I'm a little concerend about this arrangement. It's really not typical and what if there is only one baby? The surro needs to have implanted several embryos in order to have just one baby, and several more to have twins and then there is the possibility of them ALL taking....this is really very unusual. How would your husband feel about giving up one of his babies? Which one would you choose? This is why the typical arrangement is for one pregnancy at a time...all for you, whatever happens.
Little red lights are going off in my head saying WARNING, DANGER, AVOID.
I really don't want to be a party pooper....but I care. I understand how much you want to do this....and there are many ladies out there who would be willing to help. This one just doesn't sound "right" if you know what I mean. <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/confused.gif" alt="" />
Esther
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Oh Esther we are not going to do this.. What I found out they want to do is this.. okay the wife had a tubal reversal 1 1/2 years ago... They say she can get pregnant. But WANT to help another family out. So they propose to do IVF and the couple doing it with them pay HALF the cost.. and then we get one of the babies at birth.. Mind you.. these would be done with his sperm her eggs... Sounds to me like they need IVF and want someone to sucker into paying for it..I was just thrown by this... Never even thought about a crazy mess like this. To many risks... no way to be sure there would be more babies than one and no way to know if i would really get one... And anyway... who splits up twins ?? ughhh <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/crazy.gif" alt="" />
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Nona,
I am so happy to see your post. I was fretting about this all evening. I was worried that if the SM and her husband was wacky to begin with that maybe they would become wackier as time wore on. Even with well thought out contracts, beautifully written, there is no telling what can happen once the SM is preggers. She can do a complete 180. I think your take on the situation is right on target. I just know you're going to find a solution that will feel right. <img src="http://www.asklenore.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/smile.gif" alt="" />
Esther
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Nona, Let me know if you find any more surrogates who will do TS. We looked into a surrogacy agency in California, and the costs came to about $60,000, which we cannot do. We could swing the $27,000 though. If you could privately e-mail me, or ask her if she would consider us. We live in Maryland. Thanks alot, Cathy
Seans mom started regular protocol for 2nd time, 2 weeks ago
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Actually I have a friend who is a TS. And she is almost ready to be a surro again. She has beautiful babies! Her fees are about 26,000
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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go to http://www.surromomsonline.comgo to there classified section. They have a lot of surrogate ads
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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Nona, could you let me know more about your friend who does TS? thanks, Cathy
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Cathy, I am sorry. But she is matched and will start insems in april. She is having a second baby for her first IFs (intended Fathers). She just got matched about 3 weeks ago.
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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thanks anyways Nona,,,I will try the surro. website....we are still pursuing Guatemala also....I mentioned to my husband about still adopting the 5-6 year old boy in GU and then usi g a surro. for the infant....he says he is thinking about it. We'll see.....thanks, Cathy
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I want to become an egg donor. But I just don't know where to start and what to do. How do I get myself out there so I can help those in need?, how do I get people to find me seeing I also do not have much access to a computer. I've already spoken to a fertility specialist and he says that i'm o.k. and a great canidate. I'm of a West Indian background. What are my chances of finding someone who needs me?
Confused on what to do
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go to surromomsonline they have a section where you can place an ad
Adoptive mommy to 4 , Last 2 adopted nursed. Youngest nursed till she was 5! Raising 2 grandbabies, as infants they were raised on donor breast milk
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